just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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