You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
