i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize