dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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