i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
