oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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