If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
