tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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