dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
