I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
