LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
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