I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize