im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
