If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm at about main and main street
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
