Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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