dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.