I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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