i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
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