Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
