meet me or not, i'm out of control
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
