It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
