Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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