If that was your dad, he is hot
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
