Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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