I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Houston, we have a blender
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
