the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
