dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
