Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
