guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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