babies were throwing up all over the place
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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