so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
