The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
5 Insecurities That Are Ruining Your Sex Life
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Nikki Haley Calls Jared Kushner A Hidden Genius—And Twitter Ain’t Buying It
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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