You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!