I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
