I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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