All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
