you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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