There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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