A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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