He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
