Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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