you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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