what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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