Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
