alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
