Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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