She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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