Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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