I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize