I didn't shave. On purpose
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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