You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
