Your mouth is God's brothel.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
