I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
