so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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