just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize