Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My penis needs a shock collar
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
