So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
