I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
