Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Panties = found
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
