Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
home. puking in laundry basket.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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