Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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