Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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